This year I celebrated perhaps the universe’s greatest bellwether for aging out of childhood.
I ran out of Christmas gifts to ask for.
As I’ve written about fairly extensively for this website, I’m a bit of a ruthless pragmatist. I am passionate about quality and utility — seeking to own only a few things but to value those things deeply and use them often. I don’t make purchases easily or rashly, and I view brand loyalty as something that must be earned every day, not something that can be bought. (Why I remain a fan of the New York Giants despite these qualities is, frankly, beyond my comprehension.)
Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so surprised when my Christmas list included just two items: boxer briefs and socks. There has never been a more utilitarian Christmas gift than underwear — never a gift more certain to be beneficial to the everyday pursuit of living. And, if you’re me, there’s never been a more important Christmas gift to receive, because I am an underwear snob.
It does not bring me joy to report to you that I regularly endeavor to purchase undergarments with sky-high price tags. It does not bring me joy to tell you I know all about the latest and greatest in sock-and-underwear technology. But it is unavoidably true, and on Christmas this year, socks and underwear are what brought a smile to my face, because these four products are unavoidably, indisputably awesome — the exact kind of high-utility, high-quality, long-lasting products that make me happy to be alive. I have used these products to survive through even the hottest and grossest days on the golf course in (comparative) comfort, so I can vouch for their utility as a golf product, but I have also used them virtually every day of my life off the course, so I can vouch for their resilience and heartiness in all other endeavors of living, like hiking, skiing, walking, running, dancing at weddings and, on rare occasion, sleeping. If you’re smart, all four will be part of your wardrobe in short order.
I can hear you now.
“Hiking socks to play golf? What a loser!”
I can also tell you what I know, which is that merino wool is god’s gift to sock creation. It’s basically the highest quality material for sweat-wicking and temperature regulation known to humankind, and a good merino wool sock can be worn in temperatures from the upper-90s to the lower-20s without any cause for second thought.
Why Darn Tough merino wool hiking socks over the competition? Oh, well, only because Darn Tough is the kind of U.S.-based brand that puts its money where its mouth is, providing a lifetime warranty for every sock purchased.
Find yourself darning your socks in the night like Eleanor Rigby? Shoot Darn Tough an email or call and they’ll send you a label to get a fresh pair in return.
Yes, the pricetag is higher than other sock brands. And yes, you’ll have to be sure you wear golf shoes that hide the darker colors (if you’re into the monochromatic look — I’m not). But the quality of the product is second-to-none (and their regular white-sock variants, particularly the higher-cushion variety, are equally reliable).
Four years ago, Delta Airlines made the grave mistake of losing my luggage on the way to Europe, which resulted in my first visit to Lululemon for a pair of Always In Motion boxers.
I’d seen the boxers online before and was, like most Lulu products, generally impressed by the outrageous price tag. But I was in a pinch and decided to pull the trigger.
A month later, I’d bought two more pairs. And then three more after that. And then five pairs. And then, finally, I looked at my wardrobe one day and realized the Always In Motion boxers were basically all that I owned.
Four years later, I still own that first pair. They haven’t slowed down a bit since that first day at Lulu, and none of their siblings have either.
Kardashian-approved products aren’t exactly my first priority as a consumer, and in fact, it’s probably fair to suggest that I would not orient my life around such products even if they became the predominant form of currency in the aftermath of a nuclear Armageddon.
But I enjoy a good boxer brief, damnit, and the Skims cotton 5-inch brief is precisely that.
While Lulu briefs are terrific for a long-lasting synthetic material, Skims are pretty much the gold standard for cotton briefs. The design is so comfortable that it often betrays the material, leaving you feeling like you’re wearing something decidedly newer-age than plain old cotton.
Another epic, high-quality, thick-but-not-hot pair of socks that is perfectly capable in a wide range of elements and can be beaten to hell without risk of falling apart. So good that I’m wearing them while I write this story.
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